CPR: Crazy Perverted Retard
by RaVeN.RoTh16
Summary: Examine the title. You do know what CPR is right? Then it's pretty self explanatory. BBXRAE, of course.


**Will you look at that! I can write something with less than 1,000 characters! Psh, and you guys didn't think it was possible...**

**Anyways, this story is the exact reason why I shouldn't be allowed to daydream in Health class. Especially when you're disscussing CPR and first aid and stuff. But it gets really awkward when you get into the section about STDs. Don't ask me why. It just does.**

**...**

**I get really weird ideas from that class...**

**DISCLAIMER: Whoa I almost accidentally put dieclaimer. How's that for a typo. I DO NOT OWN TEEN TITANS. I love writing disclaimer, ahem excuse me, dieclaimers here!**

* * *

It was Red X.

It was just Red X.

Just a normal robbery.

Just a normal fight.

Until…

_BAM!!_

Beast Boy had charged the highly skilled thief as a ram, but he hadn't expected X to grab his horns. Jump out the way, maybe, but not grab his horns and proceed to fling the green bean clear across the street! Mid-air, BB reverted back to his human self. He barely had time to think _'Since when did Red X get so strong?'_ before he crashed into the side of a lingerie store.

His thoughts, as well as his piercing scream, was cut off the moment his body connected with the cold bricks. Or was it concrete? Either way, it hurt, and he left a dent! Beast Boy fell forward, somehow managing to land on his feet. (He is part cat, after all.) He groaned, staggered a bit, and fell back on the paved sidewalk.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Titans had been still attempting to subdue Red X, the villain of the hour. Robin saw BB smash into the wall, followed by the fall on the sidewalk, and, dodging a punch or two, called out, "Raven, go check on Beast Boy!"

She ducked a flying X and sighed, but did as her leader requested and flew over to the snot colored prankster. He was sprawled out on the sidewalk, looking sort of dead. At first, she thought it was one of his ridiculous pranks, but coming closer, it became clear that he truly wasn't breathing!

She considered calling Cyborg, Robin, Starfire, anyone _else _to do this. Unfortunately, Red X still had the spotlight, with his springy, yet mysterious self. Looking back and forth between her fighting friends and Beast Boy, she sighed in exasperation and got down on her knees. _'Why did Robin make us take those first aid classes?' _She thought.

One hand holding his nose, the other tilting his head so his windpipe was straight, she leaned in and covered his mouth with hers. Suddenly, before she could really begin, a hand wrapped around the back of her neck and prevented her from moving away.

Out of sheer surprise, some of Raven's dark energy exploded in the small space between them, blasting the two apart. Seconds later, Raven opened her eyes and saw a dazed and very truly breathing Beast Boy. _'That little pervert!'_ She thought. Beast Boy's expression immediately changed to frightened horror. "Oh crap." He said shakily.

Raven's face at this moment, as expected, was definitely the most terrifying thing the poor changeling had ever seen. He swore he had never seen those eyes of hers, now four and demonic, a darker, more bloodthirsty red.

The mouth itself, plastered on Raven's face in a cruel snarl did not move, but a deep, rumbling voice erupted in his brain and left an echo. It said, "You die today." Even thought it was eerily calm, it struck him with an underlying intensity. "Run."

As a severely delayed reaction, Beast Boy's frightened shock wore off, and he screamed and tore for the nearby docks. The moment his small and ropey figure disappeared into the murky water, Raven's eyes dulled to normal and her expression softened to a confident, amused smirk. She strode up to the others - who were frustrated over another escaped Red X - with a new air about her.

They all stared, and Robin especially raised an eyebrow, err… mask… eye… thing. "Raven? Are you okay?" He asked cautiously.

She didn't say anything back, but Cyborg noticed something was seriously missing- other than Red X, of course. "Where's BB?" He questioned, glancing around.

Raven merely smiled (a sort of mischievous smile at that) and began to levitate past them towards the tower. Without looking back, she decided to answer Cy's question. "Rock bottom." She said.


End file.
